Recently I was introduced to someone who deals in the world of theatre, both in Broadway and outside of Broadway. They were interested in my work as a writer, but before they could do anything for me, they asked me a question. Where do you want to go?
That’s a million dollar question. Literally.
If I knew the answer to that question, it may well lead me to a million dollars or more. It would lead me to satisfaction, fulfillment and wonder. If I knew the answer to that question, I could begin work with a determination unparalleled in my life.
If I knew the answer to that question, I may not want to begin the journey.
I have spent the last two years exploring my art as a writer. I wrote a screenplay in 2008 and all of 2009 was spent in researching and writing a novel. The novel was never finished. This year I stepped into a new field–playwriting. This year I write a six-scene play to fit with a six sermon series entitled Romance God’s Way. I had a great time writing it and an even greater time collaborating with the various people involved in making the scenes a reality on stage. After the play made its debut two Sundays ago, I realized something. I enjoy seeing the reaction of the audience. It was one of the most satisfying emotions I have ever had. To hear the laughter, to see the looks on their faces, to hear the comments afterward–I loved it. I felt as though I was connected to every single person in the audience somehow.
You can’t do that with a book. You can’t do that with a movie.
Books and movies are an art form in which the writer is largely secluded from the people who are experience his or her art. The playwright cannot hide as easily. I loved it.
So, this year I am devoting myself to learn the craft of playwriting. Perhaps this is where I fit. Still, the question nags me. Where do I want to go? It’s tough to answer because of the fears that plague me.
- If I know where I want to go, then I’ll know when I have failed to arrive.
- If I know where I want to go, then others may think me ambitious.
- If I know where I want to go, then I may have to leave the safety of where I am.
- If I know where I want to go, then I will have to be good enough to arrive.
- If I know where I want to go, then I will have to get to know the people who are already there, and I’m intimidated.
So, is it church dramas? High school plays? Renaissance Theatre? Chicago? Broadway? Where do I want to go?
Where do you want to go? Why is it scary to answer the question?
Stand-up comedy is not my first choice. As an art form I prefer songwriting. That might come as a surprise to you, Pastor Joseph, since I’m not really known as a songwriter. I’m known more for comedy than I am songwriting.
I’ve only been doing comedy for a year now. I’ve been writing music since the age of 12. I don’t know how many silly instrumentals I’ve composed before I started putting lyrics to my music a few years back. Since I started following Christ almost 8 years ago I’ve written somewhere around 40 songs.
My passion & my heart’s desire in life is to minister. There’s nothing else that I want to do with my life than to lead people to Christ and disciple those who are already His.
My hope has always been for those doors to open through songwriting. I’ve knocked on doors for the last 7 years, at least, and very few of those doors have opened.
Then a year ago I decided to give stand-up comedy a try at the urging of my Pastor. Since then doors have opend for me left & right!! God’s moving me into places where songwriting never took me.
I’ve got my church family behind me, supporting me–where they really wasn’t there so much with the music.
I’ve got my natural family behind me, supporting me–where they wasn’t there at all with either music or ministry.
I’ve got people speaking really big things over my life in connection with the stand-up comedy. I’ve had people recognize me out in public as “that stand-up comedian!!” I never imagined my life going in the direction it’s going.
But it’s opening up doors for me to minister, which is my passion. It’s all that I want to do with my life. And personally, it doesn’t matter to me anymore which art form opens those doors, just as long as they open.
In the last year I’ve wrestled with fear. I’ve never been successful at anything in my life, and for the most part I’ve have failure prophesied over me almost my whole, entire life. The idea of being successful has always been scary to me. Success is somewhere where that I don’t really want to go.
But it’s where Jesus wants me to go, and He’s the one who’s leading me there, and I must follow.
I’m learning that true courage is trusting Him and walking forward by faith into what He has for you even though fear prophecies to you over that thing.
I think, Pastor Joseph, that as long as we’re going where we want to go, we have a real reason to be fearful. The Bible says that there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end leads to destruction.
But if we are following Jesus, then we are going where God wants us to go then we have no reason to fear. We seek first the Kingdom & His righteousness and all these things will be added unto us. There is never a reason to fear “all these things.”
If you are going where God wants you to go then you need not to worry about the 5 fears that you have listed. The only thing you need to worry about is can you keep up with Jesus!!
Why are my comments always longer than your actual blogs?….lol
I think they’re longer because you need to start your own blog! Haha. Thanks for sharing with us about the redirection in your life. There are so many people who don’t go anywhere in life simply because they feel if they divert from their course it’s quitting. I don’t believe it’s quitting. It’s stepping through another door!