Last week, I read Ron Edmondson’s blog post “How an Introvert Handles Awkward Situations.” He said several things that were enlightening to me.
One thing middle age has done for me is make me more aware of who I really am and how I respond to life.
I’m not middle-aged, but I feel as though I am getting to know who I am, and more importantly, how I respond to the world. It takes experience and age in order to know oneself. It’s a journey for which we have to give ourselves time. I believe I am in the same boat as he is when he said,
…but I am coming to terms with how God made me. He made me an Introvert. In recent years I have come to terms with how the public side of me behaves in an extremely extroverted world.
The nagging suspicion has always pestered me that I am an introverted person. It’s such a burden when you have a calling to be a pastor, a vocation in which being with people is not only a prerequisite, it’s everything. At times, I’ve been deceived to think that I am an extrovert for the way that I perform in public. Most of the time, I am amiable, approachable and, on a good day, funny and engaging. I believe that this is the public side of me that abandons me “when not purposefully ‘working.’” The great revelation I had while reading Pastor Ron’s post was that these moments in which I am being a “public person” are short, temporary instances that are made to connect people to what is of utmost importance to me–my inner world.
The most important world to the introvert is his inner world. To the introvert, it is essential to have time in this inner world in order to have something to say to the outer world. If I haven’t had time to think, meditate or daydream, I feel empty of anything to give to anyone. Extroverts don’t seem to need this same amount of time tucked away in their thoughts.
The toughest challenge is finding a bridge between your inner and outer worlds. Without this connection, communication isn’t worth the effort. We often stumble our way through conversations because we are desperately searching for that connection between the person with whom we’re talking and our thoughts for the day. This is why introverts love art. Almost any kind of art is a direct link between the person experiencing the art and the inner world of the artist. No chit chat. No beating around the bush talking about the weather. We love connecting people with the inner world with which we are so fascinated.
Whether an introvert or an extrovert, the main thing we must strive to produce in our lives is a connection with other people. This is why being an introvert can a blessing to a pastor.
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? How make the connection with other people?
Here’s my beef with the introvert/extrovert thing. I am a triplet and my sister (everyone thinks we are twins. I had a brother that was part of our triplet group) who is extroverted. I’m introverted. Just because you are introverted, doesn’t mean you aren’t likable. Sure, my sister has way more conversations than I do. I have way more loyal friends than she does though. She is the life of the party. I’m the one people go to when they need advice. So really, being introverted is not a curse. It’s just different. I remember in school taking one of those tests that tells you what you are. The world is definitely geared for the “social butterflies” of the world. My children are very different too. I have one who loves to talk and show off and the other that doesn’t. She tends to have a harder time with relationships and explaining things, but she is also so kind and thoughtful. Introverts have a ton of good qualities. I think they ponder things more. I think they are more poetic and thoughtful people. Extroverts are good at making people smile and laugh and are humorous. I just think we have to understand that each have their own strengths. If you are an introverted Pastor that doesn’t make you bad. It just makes you different than the others…and that’s not a bad thing.
I couldn’t have said it better, MB! Being an introvert is certainly not a curse. It’s a personality gift given by God! Like all of the shades of personality that exist, it needs to be tempered with the fruit of the Spirit. BTW, I’m a twin. I believe both Joshua and I are introverts, yet we are so different. When you’re a twin of whatever kind, personal identity and distinction are extremely important.