Death of a Friend

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Ana, Gabriel and I went to the funeral of Damaris Myers last night. Calling hours were from 1-3 pm and 5-7 pm yesterday. The service began at 7 pm and went to 9 pm.

The room was packed with friends and family, about 100 or more. Many more had already been to the calling hours earlier that day. Damaris was a woman who knew how to make friends. There were at least three churches represented.

Rabbi William Hallbrook officiated. Damaris’ sons Damion and Derwin began by sharing beautiful eulogies of their mother. The dance team of Sar Shalom Messianic Congregation performed two dances. I shared a brief eulogy while trying to hold back tears. Rabbi ended the ceremony with the Shema and the blowing of the shofar.

I could truly feel the presence and the love of God in the room. He was there giving weight to the ceremony that honored the life of one of His servants. May Damaris be remembered for the loving woman that she was and may her legacy continue years beyond her life. Amen.

4 Ways to Pick Friends

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Everyone needs friends to succeed in life. Having friends is not the option. The option is our friends themselves. Those with whom I spend my time are the recipients of a choice determined by none other then myself. In fact, I am also the recipient of my own determination of company. My decision can either bring me renewed blessings or continual frustration.

What a heavy decision this is! Those who surround me are the shield against the buffeting, negative forces of life. Those who lift me up with eager hands are the bridge upon which I travel to my destiny. Those who encourage me become the food my soul desperately needs to live.

It’s not wisdom to know that one needs friends. That’s a simple observation. Wisdom is in the knowing how to choose good friends. Here’s four ways in which I’ve seen myself and others choose friends. They may be good, or they may be bad. But that’s your choice.

Fraternal. Some choose friends merely on the location in which they find themselves in life. If they’re in college, all of their friends are from that college. If they have a job, all of their friends are coworkers. This is an opportunistic approach to friendship. It’s assumed that if you’re in the same boat, than you must be friends, just like Facebook networks.

These friendships are quickly made and quickly lost. It’s easy to transfer friendships with each new place thereby avoiding any inconvenience of keeping up with the past and all its nastiness.

Critical. Others choose friends based on the standards of an interminably long, invisible list. They have a tight group of friends who reflect their morals, preferences and opinions. These people view their friends as a direct extension of their personality and thus carefully vet out any friendship that would inappropriately represent them. If they are jocks, they can’t have nerd friends. If they are professionals, they can’t be seen with blue-collar workers.

The best use of critically-chosen friendships is to maintain the present comfort level of the one picking their friends. When friends are chosen so critically, there is little room for diversity. This circle of friends is a homogenous group where change is looked upon as treason to the standards of the friendship and is grounds for dismissal.

Experiential. Many of us choose friends is by going through experiences with others (I certainly do). We wait until the forces of life dump us together with someone in a foxhole facing a common enemy before we know who our friends are. A bond forms between two souls around the fact that they always have “that moment” where they faced and conquered insurmountable odds together. This is the touchstone they always come back to if the friendship falls awry.

Although experiential friendships enjoy a tight bond, they have a tendency to grow stale. Once “that moment” is over there is nothing else for the friends to share. Soon, they become two old birds squawking the same stories over and over in hopes that the same feelings they had will surface again.

Strategic. Few people choose their friends strategically. Strategic friendships begin with a relationship with one’s self. These friendships are struck within the soul of a person before another soul is met. When one chooses friends strategically, they are cultivating friendships based on an intimate knowledge of who they are and whom they are to become.

If a professional wants to learn the value of an honest day’s work, he finds a blue collar friend. If a poor man wishes to be wealthy, he finds a friend who has money and grows it. If a believer wishes to grow in Christ, she finds a mature Christian to spend time with.

Strategic friendships may present themselves by two people being in the same location, world-view, or situation; but they are cultivated due to a desire to grow and change. This desire for change only comes after knowing one’s own limitations and potential.

I want to choose my friends strategically, because I know who I am and I know where I’m going.

How do you normally choose your friends? What are strategic friendships that you need?

Leadership Adventure Getaway

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There are times when you have to get away. These times are necessary for relaxation, rejuvenation and refreshing. More than that, there are simply things that can’t be done well as a team in the same location in which the team works and lives.

You could say thank you to your team in the office, but it’s better to say thank you while gathered in a beautiful lodge. You could say. “Let’s get more unified!” from the pulpit to your volunteers, but it’s better to experience the bonds of unity while passing a hoola hoop through our locked arms. You could say, “You can do it. Be brave!” while in the break room, but it’s better to say it when your teammate is 25 feet in the high on a tight wire. These things just seem to have more meaning when the location and situation are just right.

This past weekend, Tabernacle of Praise took its leaders and volunteers on a getaway adventure to the Heartland Retreat and Conference Center. We had an incredible time expressing our gratitude to our leaders, encouraging them to get to know one another better and cheering them on as they attempted feats of courage on the high ropes course.

I’m really grateful for this time away with our leadership team, and I’m already looking forward to next year!

How and when do you get away with your team? What are some things that you do to refresh and inspire your team?

What Else Everyone Should Know About Baptism

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In my last post, What Everyone Should Know About Baptism, I made the point that the Christian rite of baptism is an immersion that changes the very nature of a person. They go in the water a sinner, and come out a saint. Don’t get me wrong. Baptized Christians have a long way to go to be perfect, but baptism is one of the primary steps to becoming perfect in Christ.

There is so much to know about baptism! If we knew what this amazing sacrament was all about, we would have run to the waters when we first believed, and we would be dragging new converts to the baptismal (If your church does this and you’re involved, I applaud you!). Here is the next thing I believe everyone should know about baptism.

Baptism is death.

Yup. Every person I have immersed in Christian baptism has been “killed dead.” And a new person is raised from the water. Check out what Paul says in Romans 6:

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2 By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3 Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

Baptism is the public demonstration of repentance. The believer being baptized is showing everyone his or her decision to repent of sinful ways of thought and behavior and their reliance on the Holy Spirit to lead them in living a Christian life.

Those who come to baptism waters without repenting of their sinful way of life are still in danger of encountering the wrath of God. The Apostle Peter said this:

After being made alive,[d] he went and made proclamation to the imprisoned spirits— 20 to those who were disobedient long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, 21 and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God.[e] It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ…

Peter makes the analogy that the waters of baptism are like the waters that flooded the earth in the days of Noah. The flood waters were the judgement of God on a sinful, wretched planet. In the same way, baptism waters represent the judgement of God upon the earth!

However, like Noah, God calls us to–not away from–the waters of His judgement. Noah was saved through the waters by his faith in God. God told him to build an ark. Noah knew nothing about arks or floods, but he built the ark anyway–120 years of his life! We, too, are saved through the waters by our faith in the resurrection of Jesus.

So, hold a funeral at the next baptism, if you think the old man is worth crying over.

What Everyone Should Know About Baptism

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There is a short list of things that all believers in Jesus the Messiah must do to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I think God likes it that way, because He wants Heaven to be cram packed with the people He created with His own hands. We call these things sacraments. One of them is the Sacrament of Baptism.

Most people in America have witnessed a baptism at a church or on television. Even more people have heard of it. However, if we did a confidential survey of everyone who claimed to be a Christian, I think we would be shocked at the numbers of people who strive to follow Christ’s teachings, yet have never come to the waters of baptism.

This past Sunday I preached a message entitled Come to the Waters. Praise be to God, three souls presented themselves for baptism that very day! One of them, who lives 50 minutes one way from our church, drove home thinking he would come the following Sunday to be baptized. To my great surprise, he showed up at our church Sunday night and told me:

Pastor, at first I was going to wait to be baptized. But after hearing your message this morning, I had to come back and be baptized. I can’t wait for tomorrow to come!

All of the three we baptized this past Sunday came to saving faith in Jesus years ago, and they just now came to the waters. What has gone wrong? Why do we not emphasize this beautiful sacrament the way that Peter did in his first epistle (chapter 3 verse 21)?

…and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God.[e] It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ…

I feel that largely, there is a great ignorance among independent churches concerning the import and benefits of baptism. Here is one thing that I believe everyone should know about baptism.

Baptism is an immersion which entirely changes the individual coming to the waters.

There are two words for immersion in the Greek language–bapto and baptizo. The Greek word translated as “to baptize” in our English Bibles is baptizo. To understand what these words meant in the ancient world, let’s look at how the Greek poet and physician Nicander used the words in his recipe for pickles. Nicander tells us that we must first immerse (bapto) the cucumber into boiling water. Then, he says to immerse (baptizo) the cucumber in the vinegar solution. In the first case, the cucumber came out of the water still a cucumber. In the second case, the cucumber came out a pickle. Forever and irrevocably changed.

When you bapto something, its essence remains the same, only it’s wet. But when you baptizo something its essence changes and there is nothing similar about it to what was immersed in the liquid. This is what happens when someone is baptized into Christ. They are to never be the same!

There are many people who claim to be Christians, yet their lives are no different than before they claimed faith in Jesus. When we fulfill the sacrament of baptism, we are completely changed, and must live a new life. Otherwise, we are simply wet.

The Problem of Growing a Church

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…is that it involves loving people. And love is something in scarce supply within my own heart.

Tabernacle of Praise has embraced a vision of preaching the Gospel and discipling believers through a strategy called 24toDouble. This strategy involves several elements:

  1. Identify people’s God-given gifts and place them in ministry roles accordingly.
  2. Using those gifted saints (which is all of them!), assemble 7 major teams, each with a subset of teams. I’ll have to write about this strategy in a later post.
  3. Hold 4 “Big Events” at least in one year. This “big events” don’t have to be big in the sense of numbers or complexity. They just have to be something special in which the people of the church are involved.
  4. Each person in the “big event” lists seven contacts to invite to the event.
  5. Someone else calls that person’s contacts and invites them to church. Oh, and the person in the production also invites them.
  6. After the visitor comes to the “big event,” the follow up team reaches out to them with love and a helping hand.

If you do all of these steps well, your church will grow in 24 months or less. We believe in this vision and are doing all we can to implement it. Sounds like we’ve got everything figured out, right? But there is this problem…

We have to love people! Love is the magic that unlocks people’s heart to truly consider the Gospel’s invitation. Unfortunately, I think my life represents a good portion of believers in Crawford County. I just. Don’t. Care.

Oh sure, I care about the world, in the world kind of sense. But I don’t care enough to push past all of the inconveniences of loving someone personally, specifically. And just what does a life of love that will bring people to Christ look like?

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”    –Matthew 9:10-13

That’s what it looks like! Loving people into the Kingdom of God doesn’t start with large healing crusades, church growth strategies and awesome sermons. It starts with a conversation across the fence, an invitation to a barbecue, or a meal with our neighbors. Yes, I said neighbors. Not people on the other side of world. Our neighbors.

The vision of Tabernacle of Praise will never be realized until each member is daily praying for their neighbors, co-workers and acquaintances; pursuing friendships with these people, and actively sharing their faith while doing so. I understand that “each member of TOP” begins with me. Here’s what I have to do.

I have to clean up my fire pit so I can invite my neighbors to a campfire. I will invite the ones next to my house, then I’ll invite the ones across the street. It’s time to eliminate the problem of growing our church within my heart.

Will you join me?

It’s About People, Again.

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I was encouraged this morning by the new motto on my desk that I wrote about yesterday HERE. “It’s About People, Stupid!” A thought struck me. Why is it that I have such a hard time keeping my focus on people? I read an amazing blog post by a brilliant young man that I believe pinpoints the issue.

Joseph Dieterly wrote in his post “The Farmer and the Dishwasher” that we as Christians have many, many seeds to sow into the lives of other people. Each time we share about the hope that we have for the future because of Jesus, it’s as if we are planting a seed in that person’s heart. Our prayer is that the seed will grow and produce fruit in the form of that person embracing the hope of Jesus.

The Farmer never has to worry about running out of seeds! We have opportunities to share God’s love every single day. However, Joseph points out that it is in the amount of time and energy necessary to care for the person in whom we’ve planted the seed that we get weary. When we don’t see results right away, we’re tempted to stop caring about people and start caring about tasks.

You see, tasks can be accomplished. I can check tasks off of my to do list. I can do something now about them. People take too long. People are risky; who knows if fruit will ever come from my seed? We begin to care for our seeds more than the ground in which we plant them. Check out what Joseph says here:

And the sower cares for all seeds he plants.  And by care, I mean that he tends the soil.  If the soil is hard packed dirt, he tills it.  If the soil is full of thorns, he clears the land.  And if the soil is rocky, well then he carefully removes each stone.  Until finally, that soil resembles the neat straight furrows of a farm.

It is this caring that often trips up Christians.  Sowing the seed is pretty easy, giving it the care it needs is harder.

Today, I’ve got a lot of administrative stuff to accomplish, and a meeting tonight for which I need to prepare. I know that as soon as I get into the swing of things, I’ll be lost in the thick of the work and not want to think about people and all the relational work that needs to be done. How do I keep my focus on people with all of this stuff to do? Here’s how I plan to resolve that.

  • As I prepare our mailing today, I will pray for the names I’m putting on the envelope. 
  • As I write our monthly e-letter, I will pray for the recipients. I will make the letter relational and ask for people to partner with us in our work in the field of souls. It won’t be chock full of mindless facts; it will be stuffed with love and meaning.
  • As I prepare the room and materials for our meeting, I will pray for those attending. This meeting is about fanning the flames of passion in our hearts for preaching the Gospel! It is ALL about people.
  • As I write this blog, I am thinking of you and all of the amazing things God wants to do through you to accomplish His beautiful plan for your life. This is a letter from my heart to yours.

Don’t let this blog stop here! Help me keep my focus on people, on you. How can I pray for you today?